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The Map Is Not The Territory

December 16, 2016

Selected Notes and journal entries from A DIY tour across Oblivian U.S.A.

I am a little known avatar performing the naked song for a post human audience.  Self-taught in spiritual wordplay attempting acrobatics of rock n roll poetry. Words, voice, & sound picked & strummed from a hollow body guitar. Some call it music others call it fire. The road is a place I want to belong. The road is a place I think I belong, so, sifting through a horrifying political climate; I stepped into the suit of the Troubadour, and sang at Sad Cafes across the Conjoined States of the Northern Americas.  I relied on love, intention, compassion and three to five chord songs to  further investigate my youthful hypothesis of purpose in this incarnation.


A poor boy rejects the work force to celebrate community in a vanishing world. Lighting a candle for Orpheus each night along the Black tar highway.


October 7th Temecula Ca. Las Vegas Nevada

Opening night concert Southern California, a vanishing Eden where ecology struggles to compete with mythology.  I strum, sing, stomp my feet for a smoky collective of friends, family and strangers. The show is not the show but those who go. Those who go stand like Icarus inside a sleepy midnight saloon. Wings melting along with the myth of the west. I search for songs of hope and courage. No blood in my veins only four lanes on the highway.

Headed East. Friday night Nevada. Double down Saloon. Aliens and anorexia.  Las Vegas ejaculating neon across a vast indifferent desert. Two table spoons of insomnia. The barmaid slips off her dress of cocaine. I’m opting for wanderer to be my solution in the conflict between king and thief. Strum, sing, scream, stomp, talk about the tarot on a late night radio program, have a drink with an off duty cop, seems like a decent frightened kid with an alarmingly undeveloped sense of self. It becomes a clear concern that reality is malleable and no one really has a grip on things.

It’ll be like kicking a two hundred year drug habit when fossil fuels finally do run out in this country. Clean energy alternatives and anarchist sensibilities at the forefront of my mind while looking at the desert sky behind the wheel of a big black Mariah. The peculiar, unsettling philosophy of individualism haunts the forefront of my mind every time I wait for a drink or attempt to navigate a Knotted nightmare of evening traffic.

Amerika is rotting teeth but tooth decay can be reversed. We are scraping the surface of a master plan. Wake up and mutate. Wake up and stay free. Evolve from primordial animal to human being to something more than human all in the span of one biological lifetime. Sing Songs about it. Make poems about it. It might not make you money but it costs no money to make. This machine kills fascists, this machine kills apathy, this machine kills anything that needs to pass so that it may be reborn. This machine kills anything that needs to pass so that it may be reborn. And again verbatim for as long as it takes.


October 11th Denver Colorado

Let’s not forget that we are simultaneously dead and alive. When dead, we are dead tired when alive.


October 26th Nashville Tennessee

Step out of what is real and into what is true. Evolve less in “virtual reality” and evolve more in “real virtue-ality ”. One day we’ll all find out that all of our songs were just little notes in one great big song.


October 30th New Orleans

That’s not an exit it’s just a painted brick wall. Sleeping next to Moira in Logan’s bed. Dreams of obligations to family. Working again at the tiny sad Temecula produce shop for Consuelo instead of going with Moira to play a show? It might not have been playing a show was something more in line with my true will than working the produce stand but maybe not more than serving my family? I’m not convinced I’m helping them that much anyhow. New Orleans and all its Magick. All it’s sun soaked swampy charm, alcohol induced dreamscapes. A perfect place for ritual Magick if I can get myself together enough to do something. Get it together, Dusty Santamaria. Make this tour of musical exploration and sharing as meaningful to as many people to as many people as you can and remember to keep an attitude of manifesting money. What you have from your adventure is almost running out. San Antonio painting sale really pumped up my pride. Austin show memorable,   emotional, well played, well paid. Eureka Springs silent and if not for the synchronicity of Moira reuniting with her lost friend, Leigh, would have been dismal. Oklahoma, a good small Tuesday night gig. Woody Guthrie museum, absolutely inspiring. Nashville reignited my ambition and faith in my musical and performance capabilities carrying me through my lyfetime. Goth kids getting out of the sun. Sick cats with tongues stuck out sitting on a wood picket fence. Night blooming jasmine on an 80 degree Halloween weekend.  Pop up DIY haunted house in a bleak harsh looking neighborhood. New Orleans. Always holds me in its spell. Lots of harsh poor decisions I’ve made here in the past, still haunt me when I step back into the swamp covered by concrete.  Tuesday’s concert will be a per formative success. Tuesday’s concert will be an economic success. Tuesday’s concert will be an artistic success. Tuesday’s concert will be well attended. It is said that a human incarnation is the most precious gift in the ten thousand myriad worlds of being.

Nov 3rd Somewhere Along the Highway

The unity of all conscious thought is clearly mirrored back through relationships with friends while traveling. We are a new breed of human being this century. Possibly because of the severely wounded state of the planet? Is she screaming for us to evolve?  The dazzling connectivity of life being that when one thing is being pulled down another is being propelled up. Playing music in little sad cafes moving from town to town gives perspective of continuity of conscious thought between different beings as well as a romantic outsider role in which to observe them. This is perhaps why it is currently such a sought after lifestyle. The feeling of freedom, of course. But wherever you go there you are. Drop beliefs, raise consciousness. It’s a grandiose statement but it’s close to the truth. In my bones I feel it to be “true”. Until we are all happy no one is completely happy. Until we are all free,  no one is completely free.


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